Weird things i do (a few of it)

Hehe.. I thought of doing this post randomly becox i do these things and when my friends and i were talking about it upon chance, i realise they don't think it's normal! So these are some things that i do!


A better, quicker nail filer,
and it's FREE OF CHARGE!


When i come across a wall that's decently clean (even the walls on my house) i'd start doing as pictures below. Especially i don't file my nails after cutting them, they'd be so sharp and edgy! Hurts like a bitch to accidentally scratch my face with those freshly cut nails!



I'd start to file my nails on the wall.


 It's SO DAMN BIG PIECE, convenient and mobile! Everywhere also have! LOL! Plus you know how these conventional nail filer..



 Even if it looks super chio.. It requires you to tweak your hands in a certain direction to file certain parts! But with the wall-filer now, your problems are solved!





But i can't let my bf know about it.. In fact, nobody should know!
If not next time all the walls in Sg will have no more frictional surfaces for me! LOL.





Only downside is.. The awkwardness when you get caught.
People won't understand why you are leaving your DNA everywhere.
They'd think it's gross!




Toilet seat must be clean like
CLEANED-BY-ME kind of clean.





Even if the toilet looks as clean as this, i'd still clean up the toilet seat thoroughly.


First is to use toilet paper (will wet paper with water if possible, wipe once with wet toilet paper, and then once more with dry ones) and clean up the seat, then arrange a few pieces of toilet paper on it before sitting, IF i am doing a big deal.


I know! Why so troublesome right!
Becox i don't want my private area to be in contact with some other people's private area indirectly!


Some of Mcdonald's toilet is UNISEX one lor! Like the one at Bugis Street. You know where are the possible places guys can hang their birds when they sit down for a crap?! THINK???


EEEEeeeeewwww!





Every once in a while.. I'd miss this kind of shithole =((
No contacts, no splashing..


Other than the fact that SOMETIMES, just sometimes, the poop might not be flushed down on first attempt if you are the inward-facing kind. LOL, other than that, this kind of shithole is PERFECT!


Why can't shitting be made easy for everyone. Pregnant ladies can go buy their own poo-chair as an attachment to this what. Sometime along the way, some idiot decided that it's fun to have sai zui (shit water) splashing on our private areas.


But now i smart already, i will throw loads of toilet paper into the bowl before i take a crap. LOL. Then the sai zui won't splash upwards cox got cushion for impact. LOL!


But sometimes doing that can cause some F-ed up toilets to overflow when you flush them..


This happened to me too many times.. Until i don't know where to start =(((



MTV Female Lead


This one i know many girls do before lor! Becox i have seen girls walking towards me and the wind is against the direction they are walking, and they tilt their heads and walk slo-mo!!! PUI!


LOL!!!


Okay lah i do that too!!!


I'd sometimes pretend like the wind is too strong and pretend like i don't like it cox it's blowing my hair to cover my face (BUT ACTUALLY I LOVE IT!!! SO MONG HUAN!!! LOL) so i'd use one hand to hold my hair at the temple area, look down and walk slo-mo altogether!





 Like this!


And when i look up, i'd squint my eyes demurely and smile.


Oooooooh. I'M SO CHIO!!!! I should be the lead female for music videos!!! The taiwanese kind!


Lol. And if no one's around, i'd even lip sing!!!



LOLOL! Not this kind of upbeat songs lah!


Mostly i'd do 倒帶/ 一個人/ 影形的翅膀/ 遺失的美好.


You know, songs that i can look like a poor damsel singing into the cam with a "DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY HEART-PAIN" look.




My poor Doggies





Something like my doggy-audience crowd.


Me: Tiffany, Drago! You guys want fishy?


Fishy means treats. And they'd all (plus ChipChip, my sister's dog) run and wait outside the kitchen, where the doggy gate is. And i'd be inside the kitchen, holding their treats.


And then i'd make them all sit down, and instead of giving them treats, i'd start singing!!!


LOL!!!

After a while (like one minute) they'd be so bored, they will all lie down and listen to me sing.


I'd dance for them too! LOL!!! So in short.. My doggies are constantly traumatised. LOL. But i honestly, honestly don't think they've gone through a fraction of what Caesar's been going through. Since Genevieve (check my sidebar, she's this awesome girlfriend who has a giant handsome doggy) is hoping to master Christina Aguilera vocals. LOL!!!




"I OWN YOU! YOU LIVE FOR ME,
YOU NON-LIVING THING!!!"


I sorta treat all things with respect. It's like everyone (human beings) have their worth to live, some mail letters, some write interesting stuff, some take care of a household, some whip up yummy food to sell. So everyone, has their worth to live. But if you respect them for their worth, and they screw up, you just want to teach them a lesson!


Same goes for non-living things!


Cameras are to take chio pictures, capture moments, a pair of scissors is for cutting, washing machine washes clothes, oven bakes, condom condones more sex with strangers (haha!) etc etc.


BUT SOME CB MANUFACTURER MUST PISS PEOPLE OFF IN THE MOST EXTREME WAY.
PRODUCING LOUSY ITEM WITH ZERO WORTH BUT SELLING AT HIGH VALUE! FUCK!


You know Yong Ming got me a birthday gift set this year. It's a range of MAC makeup products.
See here. Mascara is perfect, eyeliner is good.


But there's this bottle of makeup remover. First time i tried to open it i realise that the bottle cap is designed in a way like once you screw it back gently, it'd be locked and definitely won't be leakage.


The only way to open it again is to PRESS DOWN, and turn one full round.


So i thought to myself, wow, this is so smart!


AND THAT, WAS THE ONLY TIME I PRAISED THE FUCKING THING SINCE I'VE USED IT FOR 10 over times.


EVERY SINGLE TIME, IT WILL PISS ME OFF.


SEE I AM STILL SO FUCKING ANGRY WITH IT I AM TYPING IN CAPS.


Below is reenactment..


Nothing is meant to be funny, it's all the nasty things i say (Sorry Boyfriend! If you are reading this, please know that i am not crazy and please don't send me to Buangkok Green! Hehe) and do to the bottle becox I'M SUPPOSED TO OWN IT!!! And so, IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR ME! But it's not doing it!


FIRST STAGE: DENIAL
Not willing to acknowledge the fact that I KNOW, it will screw up on me.


Again!?!? Why always like that!!!
How many rounds must i press and turn, press and turn!


STAGE TWO: ANGER
Frustration venting and trying to tell the bottle off


Do you know that i own you?! Why are you ALWAYS so uncooperative!
I am so pissed! You are not performing!!!
Work it, c'mon!!! What is your problem?!?!


STAGE THREE: DEPRESSION
Feeling dejected



Angry to the verge of tears!!!
WHY!?!??! REALLY!!!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!!!




STAGE FOUR: DELIRIUM
Totally shouting and screaming!
Becox being sad is just not worth it for this cold-hearted thing!



OPEN!!! I SAY OPEN!!!
OPEN YOU MUTHUFUCKING WHORE!!!



STAGE FIVE: THREATS AND BREAKUP
When you feel like there's nothing to lose anymore......



I will KILL you. I swear i will throw you out of the window and that's it!
I'm gonna count to three. One.. Two.. THREEYOUFUCKINGOPEN!!! OPEN!!!
I will cut you with a knife.. And make sure you die slowly, painfully!
NOW JUST OPEN THE FUCK UP PLEASE?
Please.. Please.. Please......

I am still pissed with this bottle of makeup remover, i swear to God. It really stimulates the evil blood in me. I don't even know how this is happening. I stop doing things like that (being so violent towards non-living things) in upper secondary school. But this shit here, can actually unleash me just like that.

And plus, the effect of this nemesis of mine, is not fantastic. It kinda leave this burning sensation on your face. See what i mean by fucking useless, nothing but problem?!

Yong Ming, i swear i don't blame you for this. Lol! Really!

But i curse the manufacturer plus the product mechanics designer and all. I curse them real bad when i'm angry.

And when the bottle finally opens, i have to apologise to all of them. Becox i just feel so bad that i basically cursed everybody who contributed to this predicament i'm in. EXCEPT, Yong Ming. LOL. Becox he's my friend! And i don't curse him!

I think my boyfriend is afraid i am the kind that will kill him in his sleep.
LOLOLOL.

Morale of the story, be worthy.

And don't ask me to throw it away, it's too expensive for me to throw. But it's too fucking evil i can't give it to anyone else. Becox nobody can stay as sane as me (HAHAHA) when faced with a devil in the house like that. Hahaha!


So share with me! Do you guys do weird things in your daily lives?!

Don't need to tell me about masturbation and wanking off hor, thank you.
Not keen to know unless you are fucking hot. LOL. Plus, that's not weird.

Bye!