I am really happy to share this experience with y'all. You've been sharing everything little parts of my life with me for two years odd now. I hope you're enjoying this, as much as i do =)) Now this is a big part of my life, and i am really, really happy to be able to document this on my blog as well as on Clicknetwork.
I think when i look back at this, a few years down the road, i'd still smile.
Can you see?! I'm making very beautiful memories for myself now =D
Maybe i should start this by sharing a few most common nicknames i get called for being flat-chested, for the past 23 years. Okay, given that i wasn't REALLY affected until i was 17, it was only 5 years ago that i really feel like there's something missing about me.
And i regret to say i get so self-conscious, i stop going to the swimming pool when i was 17. Let alone the beach in bikini or anything. And it's really something that i'm not proud of, being so hide-up about this becox i'm all "I AM SO PRETTY", "I LOVE MYSELF" but i guess those were good esteem booster. Hahaha.
So a few common nicknames..
My life sucks. When i google for "airplane runway", this came out first.
My birthdate is 28th June =(
I am called the washing board she's about to hump in this picture.
The jagged part is where my ribcage is supposed to be? Cool!
On a good note, some people say i am the whole package. Becox they can use me to wash their clothes as a washing board, then use me to hang their laundry out to air as a laundry pole. DOUBLE COOL!
From the video of the procedure on Clicknetwork.tv you probably can see that i was practically flat, Eff, Ell, Eh, Tee, FLAT. No boobs, not even a small teeny weeny bit of boob.
Do you know how sucky it is, to have NO BOOBS at all? Jokes aside *snaps finger* voilin, please.
When i was 12, i went through shitty part of puberty, just like every other girl did.
Ultimate-painful breast-soreness, red and swollen pimples and acne, period and gross hair growing everywhere.
I went through the shitty part, but never got the final result as the other girls.
EVERYONE GOT BOOBS! Why i don't have! =(( Even the fat boy in the class had boobs!
But being ever so optimistic, i didn't thought it was a problem even when most of the girls around me in school started growing things on their chest. Some already had BIG boobs at 11! Swear to god! I remember when i was 11, my gf ask why i don't wear something inside, cox our P.E shirt grows thinner by each wash.
I told her something like, "I got no neh neh pok yet what."
Believe it or not, I CONFIDENTLY THOUGHT IT WILL BE MY TURN SOMETIME.
Like it's all part of growing up. I really, really thought my time will come.
Just not yet.
I mean, i know all the theory about life is fair, fate is fate, and what will be will be, all the things we tell ourselves when we need to be positive about life.
But don't you sometimes just wanna know, WHY?
Why like this?
There might be people talking about me, i'm fine with that. Importantly, i know i did something for myself, at least once in my life. And it makes me truly glad =)
So you can talk about me but don't talk about my boobs! What's more, they are grown-ups now. LOLOL. They have feelings and are sensitive, okay? Hahaha!
*plays Christina Aguilera - Beautiful*
But don't you sometimes just wanna know, WHY?
Why like this?
There might be people talking about me, i'm fine with that. Importantly, i know i did something for myself, at least once in my life. And it makes me truly glad =)
So you can talk about me but don't talk about my boobs! What's more, they are grown-ups now. LOLOL. They have feelings and are sensitive, okay? Hahaha!
*plays Christina Aguilera - Beautiful*
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
And to lead you through the story to HOW i was able to do this procedure with Macrolane, performed by Doctor Jonathan lee,
I posted THIS in May.
Stomp made it into news and Wanbao made it a bigger news. They even gave me the headline. Then Shinmin Dailies put me on the cover too. I didn't keep those articles becox they were really quite awful and accusing.
And then i met the good people at Clicknetwork.tv for an open call for audition.
Through some liaison, Gillian introduced me to an interview on Straits Times URBAN about new-age personalities online. So i appeared on the cover of URBAN looking naked. HAHA.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
After all the meetings the Clicknetwork girls went to, they finally got hold of Dr Jonathan Lee.
And i met Dr Jonathan for the first time on 19th Aug.
I remember it becox i
And i was told about all the possible options that i could consider..
Implants and the various options within this choice, fat-transfusion, filler injection.
He also went through all the pros and cons of the various choices, pertaining to my case.
So i was given some time to go back and think about it and i decided on filler.
Becox i do think that ultimately, i just want to have boobs, for once in my life. And be able to don most clothes with confidence and actually look good in them - For once, in my life.
不在乎天長地久,只在乎曾經擁有. LOLOL.
And to be able to fill a bra cup, was one of the common vision Dr Jonathan Lee and i share to make this thing work out. I'm realistic, he's professional. No i didn't ask for a B, C, D cup, i remember telling Doctor Lee, "All i want, is to have something. Anything."
Yes, i had no breast. So i guess when i said this, i was really feeling helpless.
So anyway, not trying to justify my actions here becox whatever i did, it's making me feel DAMN GREAT with myself now.
Hello boobies.. Mummy love you both, okay?
So here's to bring you through the procedure! In pictures!
Before anything happens, i ought to have a few shots of me, before.
I think i'm still happy, just not complete.
Waiting..
Christine giving me some warmth.
Gillian getting ready..
The procedure is a Macrolane Breast Filler procedure. It is a hyaluronic acid gell filler that's injected in a pocket behind the breast and above the chest muscle, through a small incision in the armpit area and is normally done under local anesthesia.
All the Macrolane for my procedure.
And we're done =))
I vaguely remember how Jess held my hands tightly =')
And i also remember falling back to sleep for a bit and wake up to seeing the girls at Click and i thought i hear "Qiu, you're awake! They look very natural" And that was already my dream come true, half way.
Blabbering whatever came to me..
Haha.. Sorry, had to show this and make the link..
The girls i have to thank for =))
And this was when i saw my babies in the mirror.
Thank you Qmed, thank you Christine..
I imagine a road i was walking on.. Initially there were people who throw stones at me.. Hoping that it'd hurt, thinking that i should trip over and fall, thinking that it's fun for them.
And then i keep walking.. And i keep walking, still optimistic and happy. Really lah, no matter what happens, i'm born optimistic, it's like it's in the blood or something.
And i guess life is being kind to me.. They let me meet these people, and they walk with me.. And now i'm changing my route.
Instead of Destination: Accept Life Happily;
I'm on Destination: EXCITING WONDERFUL LIFE.
Hugs and Kisses to you all, angels of my life! ^.^V